


If We Only Have Tonight

by CariadWinter



Category: Original Fiction - Fandom, Original Work
Genre: Biting, Dark Vs HEA, First Time, Fluff and Angst, Kissing, M/M, Minor Knife Play, Oral Sex, Past Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Sexual Abuse, smutfest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-02
Updated: 2015-01-02
Packaged: 2018-03-04 23:04:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3095882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CariadWinter/pseuds/CariadWinter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On the eve of a great battle, a Squire visits the Knight he loves one last time in case it is to be their last.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If We Only Have Tonight

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Dark_Labyrinth](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dark_Labyrinth/gifts).



> The mentions of rape and abuse are completely implied and no details were provided.

The war raged around him. It was a living thing. Breathing. Writhing. Come to life with clash of sword and the splash of blood and life into the dirt. The cries of the dying echoed through the mists. They called to him, held out their bloodied hands to grasp at him, to beg for aid. Jack pushed passed them, his own sword grasped tightly in a trembling hand. 

He stumbled, tripped over the mangled bodies of his fallen kin and enemies. The ground was thick with them; a red running layer of the dead and dying. The face he searched for wasn’t among them though. That face eluded him. It appeared here and there, like a dark angel hovering just out of reach. It whispered for him. _Jack_ , the mists called, beckoning him onward and he followed.

“Elias!” he screamed back, desperate to see the one that mattered to him most.

The hard _crack_ of weapon against shield reverberated close by. There was another and another. _Clang_ , _crack_. _Clang_ , _crunch_. There was a hiss of metal against metal, the intake of a sharp breath, and then it was as though Jack were choking on the acrid stench around him. He couldn’t breathe, couldn’t get his lungs to expand far enough to draw in a full breath of air.

Somewhere, a lone voice parted the mists, her haunting melody carried on the wind. It was the Lady, the High Priestess come to carry the dead on into the next life. Jack’s blood ran cold, her melancholy tune enough to summon the desolation of winter into his heart. If his love was gone, if Elias had been slain in battle, Jack did not think he could face the world on his own. 

_Jack_ , that blessed voice called again and he stumbled ever onward.

“Elias!” he screamed again, agony and fear riding his very soul. The mists thickened, choking him. “Please!”

With a gasp, Jack jerked upright, the remnants of his nightmare shaking him awake. He swayed, hand rising to clench at his throat. For a moment, the dream still choked him. He drew in sharp, short breaths, limbs trembling with aftershocks. 

Soon enough he managed to calm himself with the knowledge that he was tucked safely into his bedroll just outside of his master’s tent. The camp was quiet around him, the knights and other squires still slumbering on. Jack’s pounding heart slowed and he shook his head, chastising himself silently. It was always the same dream, always that same nightmare come to plague him before a battle. 

Quietly, Jack slipped from his bedroll. He shivered in the cool night air and hugged himself tightly. He needed to see for himself that Elias was whole and healthy. That nightmare had never been so vivid before and never had it ever felt so real. It worried him. 

Moving swiftly away, Jack hurried through the camp to where Elias slept. Lucan, Elias’ squire, lay fast asleep outside his master’s tent. Jack crept past him, slipping quickly inside. What he found there was not what he had expected. Elias was not sleeping as the others were. His pallet of furs lay empty and the sight caused Jack’s pulse to race. A moment later, the cool blade of a dagger slipped across the exposed flesh of Jack’s throat.

“What’s this?” a deep voice hissed into his ear and Jack trembled. A heavy hand gripped his side from behind, fingers digging in deep.

“I…” Jack rasped and whimpered as the blade nicked his skin. He swallowed thickly, blinking back both the remnants of fear and a burgeoning wave of arousal. Elias had never been so close before. 

In all the years they had known one another, Jack had never felt the heat of the knight’s body against his own. He’d never felt the brush of the other man’s skin against his. He’d dreamt of it, craved it, but all that lay between them were fleeting smiles and stolen glances. 

“Forgive me,” Jack whispered, his cheeks heating. “I only wanted to check that you were well.”

The tip of Elias’ blade pressed into the tender underside of Jack’s chin and then slipped slowly downward, over Jack’s Adam’s apple to the dip of his throat. “And why would you believe me to be otherwise?” the knight inquired.

Jack struggled to swallow again, his eyes squeezing shut. “A nightmare. I…” He licked his too dry lips and opened his eyes. “I was frightened.”

A sigh ruffled the back of Jack’s hair and the knight’s blade was suddenly gone. “You should not be here,” Elias chastised and slipped the blade back into its sheath. “What if someone saw you?”

“No one saw me,” Jack swore and turned to face him. 

Elias was a handsome man, rough around the edges and battle worn. His golden curls were tussled and the shadow of a beard stood out in an almost dark contrast along the strong line of his jaw. A short, pale scar dissected one eyebrow and stopped just shy of one dazzling green eye. Elias’ other eye was a startling blue; a rarity to be sure, but Jack had decided long ago that it only added to sheer beauty of the man.

The rest of Elias was thick and solid. He was a big man, not overly so, but what there was of him was hard muscle and sinew. He’d already been stripped of the armor he’d worn earlier in the day and the sight of it missing was almost disappointing. When Elias was dressed in his full armor, the man resembled the God, golden, strong, and full of life. Jack was nothing compared to him; a mere boy still waiting to grow into adulthood. He wasn’t skinny per say, but he was all long limbs and lithe torso. 

Jack had been called pretty by some of the other knights, even by his own, Sir Gedrick. Jack hated that. He wasn’t pretty. He wasn’t small or danity. He was fair skinned, yes, and his hair hung in dark waves down to his shoulders, but he was still masculine. 

Elias moved in closer, left only breathing room between them. “You still should not be here. Not tonight. Not any night.”

Jack shivered and licked his lips again. “But I am,” he said and pleaded with his eyes to not be sent away. “Tomorrow’s battle… I have a bad feeling about it. I…”

Elias lifted a hand and placed a finger over Jack’s lips, silencing him. “Bad feeling or not, the battle will come and I will ride out with my king.”

Jack nodded and felt that strange prick of icy winter slither back into his heart. Another of Elias’ fingers joined the first pressed against Jack’s lips and he huffed a soft exhale of warm air as they traced the line of his mouth. 

“If tomorrow is to be my last, though I know it to be a risk too great for us both, I am happy for your company now,” Elias stated softly, as though speaking any louder would alert the rest of the camp as to what was transpiring there between them. “Though I dare not speak out loud what dark things linger in my heart.”

Jack leaned into the touch, pressed his face into the rough skin of Elias’ palm. “If you will not speak them, then I beseech you to show what you cannot say. I beg with both body and soul, one dark heart to another.”

Elias’ hand slipped farther back, curved around Jack’s neck and clasped down hard at the nape. Their lips brushed together, aching to touch. “Were I to take you to my bed this night, there would be no force in all the earth that could part me from you after. If death does not seek to take me from you hence, would you risk all there is to lose after?”

Trembling, his very soul alight with a hope he’d dare not feel until now, Jack nodded. “I would risk the wrath of the Goddess herself to be in your arms. In this life and the next, I am yours.”

Elias growled, his hand tightening, and he sealed the gap between them. Their lips met for the first time and the rest of the world, for just that moment, faded away. It was a simple kiss at first; just a mere press of lips. They tasted each other, sank into that first kiss and each other as though it were anchoring them together. 

Jack wrapped his arms around Elias’ shoulders, clinging to him, and Elias hooked his free arm around Jack’s waist. They moved together, inching back towards the beckoning pile of furs until Jack felt the world shifting. He landed on his back with Elias hovering over him. As the knight knelt before him, Jack sat upright to pull his tunic off over his head.

For the first time since Jack had met the man, Elias looked unsure. “Have you ever...” the knight began and seemed to be searching for the right way to ask something. 

Jack’s cheeks warmed at what he knew the man was asking and cast his eyes downward. In his heart, he wished that the answer could be no. He wished so hard in fact, it made his eyes water with shame and his chest ache. Would Elias even want him once he knew the truth? The knight pressed his fingers under Jack’s chin and lifted his gaze to meet his own. 

“There is no shame if the answer is yes,” Elias assured him. “Though I will admit to wanting to be the first to share your bed.”

Jack looked away again, unable to meet the man’s gaze without feeling ill. “What time I have shared with another was never through will of my own,” he admitted quietly.

Elias fell silent and Jack was certain that despite what the man had just said, he would rethink it now. Jack was tainted, dirtied by the greedy hands of another. He had hoped to hide it. His past was his own and the last thing he’d wanted to do was ruin the one night they may have had together. Deceiving Elias was near impossible though. That small moment of vulnerability could not have been answered with a lie. 

The longer the silence went on, the heavier the weight on Jack’s chest. This, whatever it may have been, was done. “I should go,” he choked out and reached for the tunic he’d just discarded.

Elias’ large hand closed around Jack’s wrist to stop the movement and when their eyes met, the fury on the knight’s face was terrifying.

“Who did this thing to you?” Elias snarled, his rage barely contained.

Jack blinked, cowed somewhat by the force of the man’s anger. He wasn’t sure he should answer. To cause discord between the men before a battle, it could have devastating consequences. He leaned forward, pressed himself against Elias’ chest and shook his head.

“What is past is past. There is nothing to be done about it tonight,” Jack pleaded. “We only have a few short hours before the call to rise. Let us not waste them with anger and vengeance.”

The hard look on Elias’ face softened. “For you,” he murmured and pressed a kiss to Jack’s forehead, “I will wait. But once tomorrow is done, your attacker will be made to pay. On this you have my word.”

Jack nodded though he dreaded the day that he would be forced to share the details of his deflowering. It had been a humiliating, painful thing. Something he wished to never relive.

“No more thoughts,” Elias whispered and pressed a kiss to corner of Jack’s right eye. It was a soft kiss, barely a whisper against his skin, and Jack melted into it.

Elias pressed another kiss to the curve of Jack’s cheek. From there, he moved down, kissing along the line of Jack’s jaw. Jack’s hands lifted, smoothed up the hard, flat expanse of Elias’ chest to grasp hard to his shoulders. 

“I fear I am still dreaming,” Jack murmured, feeling lost and a little like he’d wake any moment to find that he was still lying in his bedroll outside of Sir Gedrick’s tent.

Elias smiled against the warm, flushed skin of Jack’s throat. “Then it will be a good dream,” he whispered and sank his teeth gently into the juncture of shoulder and neck.

Jack’s breath hitched, catching in his throat. His head lolled to the side, baring more, offering up everything that he had to give. Elias’ lips traced back up the curve of his neck, then down again, teeth catching skin as he nibbled and licked his way from neck to collarbone. Jack shuddered against him, convinced that if is knight did nothing more than kiss him, he would still find true bliss this evening.

Slowly, carefully, Elias lowered Jack down onto the furs. He propped himself over him, mouth still working to mark the jutting collarbone that had so often tormented him when he’d watched Jack go about his daily tasks. Jack wasn’t his squire, but be it fate or subconscious pull, he’d always managed to gravitate to him.

Jack parted his thighs, welcoming the heavy weight of Elias’ slightly larger body between his legs. The knight was warm, smelled of sweat and mead. It was a heady scent, one that caused Jack’s heart to flutter in his chest. This was real. This was happening. And if it wasn’t, Goddess save him come morning.

Elias pressed Jack into the furs with one large hand and drew in down, tracing the curve of side and hip. His fingers caught in the waistband of Jack’s trousers and he tugged, revealed the sharp jut of a hipbone. Elias shifted between his legs, slid down until he could flatten his tongue against the newly bared skin and lick a long, slow stripe up Jack’s body. His tongue brushed over a pebbled nipple and Jack hissed as Elias’ teeth caught the taut bud and bit down.

“Yes,” Jack gasped, his hand lifting to tangle in his lover’s golden curls.

Elias groaned; the tip of his tongue teasing the little bud still trapped between his teeth. He released it a moment later and pressed a kiss to the red, swollen skin. The hand still gripping Jack’s trousers pulled harder. Elias shifted over him, moved to kneel between Jack’s legs so that he could use both hands to divest him of the offending garment that kept him covered.

Jack squirmed a little under the knight’s intense gaze. He wasn’t embarrassed. Jack wasn’t small by any means. He wasn’t terribly thick, but his length, when aroused, was probably a little more than average. Still, despite what muscle he’d built up during both his chores and his training over the years, he was more lanky than anything and that had been a sore spot for him while growing up. Elias looked enraptured though and it caused a warm blush to blossom across Jack’s chest and cheeks.

Elias leaned down over him, pressed his lips to the inside of one thigh, and moved up. He nipped and licked until his face was pressed to the crease where Jack’s leg met his torso. The scruff of the knight’s cheek scraped against the tender swell of Jack’s balls and Jack had to bite down hard onto his bottom lip to keep the terrifyingly unmasculine whine at bay that threatened to burst from his throat. Elias’ tongue licked along the crease of his leg; licked and licked and licked until Jack’s fingers were buried in the knight’s curls and the squire was fighting hard to not thrust up against him.

Strong hands pressed into Jack’s thighs, gripped them tightly and pushed them up and open as far as Jack’s body would allow. Elias was over him then, his tongue pressing firmly into Jack’s perineum before he licked up over his scrotum to the base of his prick. Jack’s hips jerked and the whine that he’d held at bay sliced through the silence of the tent. A small drop of precome beaded at the head of Jack’s prick and Elias licked up the length of him to gather it on his tongue. His lips closed over him, capturing foreskin and sucking gently before pulling away. 

Jack’s fingers tightened in Elias’ hair and he swore, when the knight’s hand closed around him, that his heart burst from his chest. His lover’s fingers against him were like a brand, marking him, claiming him for the rest of their days. That hand gripped him loosely, stroked him from tip to root, pulling down foreskin to reveal the swollen, dripping head of Jack’s prick. 

“Elias,” Jack moaned, his voice a breathless rumble.

Elias answered by taking him into his mouth again. His tongue swirled around him, lapped and licked at his slit as though he were feasting on the taste of him. The knight hummed around him and pushed down, taking more of Jack into his mouth. There was a light scrape of teeth against his sensitive flesh and Jack hissed, but the teeth were gone a moment later. 

The warm suction and wet heat surrounding him had Jack’s eyes fluttering shut for a moment. His heart was pounding hard in his chest, racing against the pleasure building in his loins. Was this what it was meant to feel like? Was this what he’d been afraid of for so long? It hadn’t been like this before. Of course, when he’d been taken before, it’d had nothing to do with his own pleasure. There had been no pleasure. Only pain. This was everything though. It was a sweet Utopia of pleasure and bliss.

Jack opened his eyes and lifted himself up on his elbows to watch as Elias’ head bobbed between his legs. If anything, he’d expected their positions to be reversed. At least, that was the way all of his fantasies had gone. Elias’ mouth was moving over him though, taking him in until the knight’s throat refused to allow him to take him any further. The man’s lips tightened as he drew his head up, sucking hard, tongue swirling at the tip before his mouth descended again. It was the sight of Elias’ hand between his legs, shoved down his trousers and pumping fiercely that sent heat soaring through Jack’s veins like wildfire though. 

Jack watched, transfixed as one strong shoulder jerked and flexed. Elias’ eyes were squeezed shut and his cheeks were flushed a deep, heated pink. Sweat had soaked his blonde fringe and his curls were clinging to his forehead. He looked frayed at the seams, like he’d lost himself almost. Jack’s hips bucked, his fingers tightening, and that was all it took for Elias to open his eyes. The green and blue of the knight’s eyes had been all but swallowed by the deep black of his pupils.

Elias’ hand jerked hard as their eyes locked and he bobbed his head faster. The hand around the base of Jack’s prick released its hold and slid down until that large hand was cradling and squeezing Jack’s balls. Jack’s lips parted on a low, rumbling moan, and his hips began to roll. He meant the bob of Elias’ head stroke for stroke and soon the muscles in his stomach were tightening. Fire rolled down Jack’s spine, curled over his hips and pooled in his gut. His end was near, so close that he could taste it.

Elias never looked away from him. He hummed around him, growled as his own hips began a helpless, frantic jerk. Jack whimpered; the sight more than he could bare, and he brought his fist up to muffle the scream that ripped from his lungs as he crested. Elias’ mouth continued to move over him, sucking and licking until Jack felt he might cry if the other man didn’t release him.

“Please,” he whimpered and released his hold on the knight’s curls to push gently against his shoulder.

Elias pulled off of him slowly and licked at his lips as he pulled his own hand from his trousers. His hand was slick with his own climax and he quickly wiped it away on the furs. Jack reached for him, pulled him over him until the knight’s body covered his own.

“You should have let me,” Jack chastised gently.

Elias shook his head and pressed a kiss to his temple, his fingers sliding back through Jack’s damp hair. “Next time. The promise of you will give me something to look forward to.”

Jack’s heart twisted in his chest, but he grabbed hold of that promise and cradled it close. “Promise you will come back to me,” he pleaded, unwilling to lose him now that he finally had him.

Elias smiled down at him and lowered his head to press another kiss over Jack’s heart. “I fight for you tomorrow. For the promise of your love. That is more than enough reason to live.”

Jack nodded and returned the smile, though his own was bittersweet. Elias kissed him one last time, just a simple press of lips against lips, and then shifted so that he was laying by his side. He pulled Jack close, cradling him against him and held him close.

“Lay with me for a while,” Elias murmured and buried his nose in Jack’s hair. “Just until the dawn calls you away.”

Jack nodded and snuggled closer, his head cradled against his lover’s chest. 

They lay that way for the rest of night, and Jack reveled in the safety of his lover’s arms as Elias slept. Just before morning came, he slipped away quietly so that no one would be the wiser. Dawn came and the camp awoke. Squires hurried to tend to their knights and then watched as they rode off to battle. Jack only smiled; his heart full of the promise that had been made to him. They would have tomorrow. Of that, he was certain.


End file.
